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April 26, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: “Hello”

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April 25, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Rhonda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and

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April 24, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A guy asked a girl in a library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl answered with a loud voice, “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!” All the students in the library started staring

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April 20, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A boss bought a new BMW car. His employee congratulated and praised him. The boss said, “If you too would work hard, show sincerity, be punctual, don’t take leaves, work overtime, and meet deadlines then…” “Then what, sir?” asked the

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April 19, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.” The first is curious and asks, “How

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April 13, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifle—which no longer works—and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday

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April 12, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Wife say’s to her husband …. “I have heard that a man goes deaf if he has Viagra too often.” Husband replies ….. “Who the hell is Jeff, and what’s he doing at Niagara?” Photo courtesy of clipartkid.com

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April 11, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye. The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: “Dear, breakfast is made. I’ve gone shopping to make

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April 10, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Kyle and Justin were about to eat with their babysitter when 6-year-old Kyle said, “You can’t sit in Daddy’s seat!” “Daddy’s not home,” the babysitter replied. “Since I’m responsible for you while he’s gone, I can sit here. Today, I’m

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April 6, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says, “Hey, don’t you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn’t you see the giant

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April 5, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

After 22 years of marriage, a wife asked her husband to describe her.  He looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said: ABCDEFGHIJK. “What does that mean?” she asked. “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot”

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April 4, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

What do you call an alligator in a vest? Answer: An investigator Photo courtesy of classroomclipart.com

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April 3, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

2 retired men sitting out back in the tool shed talking. One telling the other  I’m thinking about getting a tattoo.   His buddy says, Yeah?   What kind?  A skull?  A naked women?    His reply was,   My name and address…  I

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March 31, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. Photo courtesy of clipartfest.com

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March 30, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

I decided to go back to my home town and visit the house I grew up in. I knocked on the door and asked the occupants if I could come inside. They said, “No!” My parents can be so grouchy

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