Blog Archives

Friday June 5, 2020

Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in. I asked: “What are you doing?” He said: “Working from home.”

Posted in Jewel Joke Of The Day

Thursday June 4, 2020

A man went to his doctor and said, “Help me, doctor. I think my eyesight is getting worse.” The doctor asked the man to look out the window. “Tell me what you see,” he said, pointing. “I see the sun,”

Posted in Jewel Joke Of The Day

Wednesday June 3, 2020

A man stops by his local florist shop to buy flowers for his new girlfriend. He asks the proprietor, “You know the expression, ‘You should say it with flowers’?” “How about three dozen of my finest roses?” the florist asks.

Posted in Jewel Joke Of The Day

Tuesday June 2, 2020

Boss says to his employee “Do you believe in life after death?” employee replies “Of course not it’s yet to be proven” Boss says “Well you better start believing, after you left work yesterday for your uncle’s funeral he came

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Monday June 1, 2020

I used to be in a band called The Hinges…We opened for The Doors!

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Friday May 29, 2020

Shop assistant: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Shop assistant: You didn’t even try it on? Psychic: I’m a medium.

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Thursday May 28, 2020

I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past X. I don’t know why.

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Wednesday May 27, 2020

Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris? Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: No problem Quarantine.

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Tuesday May 26, 2020

I got robbed at the gas station today. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it. I said, “Yes, pump number six.”

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Monday May 25, 2020

A man is reading a book on Marriage says and comes across this,  “treat your Wife, like you treated her on your First Date. So after Dinner tonight, I am dropping her off at her Parents House.

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Friday May 22, 2020

A good bra is like a sheepdog.  It rounds them up and points them in the right direction”.

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Thursday May 21, 2020

Einstein finally finished his theory of relativity…It’s about time!

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Wednesday May 20, 2020

A patient sobs to his doctor, “I keep thinking of myself like a pair of curtains!” Doctor replies, “Well pull yourself together man!”

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Tuesday May 19, 2020

A duck is standing next to a busy road, cars zooming past while he waits for a break in traffic. A chicken walks up to him and says, “Don’t do it, man. You’ll never hear the end of it.”

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May 15, 2020

The man said “Doc, I think I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replied “ Sorry I don’t follow you…”

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